Sunday, January 3, 2010


Noah Webster's 1828 is one of my favorite tools as a christian. Following are some definitions I found to be very interesting. I love to look up words I am sure I already know the meaning of
and vioula I am always pleasantly surprised. Sometimes I will even run across a scripture verse to illustrate the definition. I love it. So immediately when I get a word from the Lord, one of the first things I do is look up the meaning in this dictionary. Then I proceed to the word of God from that point. I mean you should know the acurate meaning of the word to understand it.

Insecure-not safe, not confident of safety. not effectually guarded or protected, unsafe, exposed to danger or loss.
Insecurity-want of safety, uncertainty, exposure to destruction.
Secure-free from danger of being taken by an enemy, that may resist assault or attack. Safe. free from fear or apprehension of danger, not alarmed, confident of safety. confident , not distrustful. to make safe.

One of the scripture verses I found which illustrated false security - Revelation 3:17 ...I am in need of nothing, and you do not realize and understand that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked. be all those things , and not realize and understand that you you know how much you would have to be deceived.

It just seems to always point to the same thing...TRUST. The harder the trials, and the more pain I experience, and the difficult things that are happening to me - can either turn me toward God are away from Him...Of course , I believe He wants us to draw nearer and closer to Him in these times. But, what happens when we say, " I have need of nothing"- that is so prideful, and God says that He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. Let's look at humble...low.opposed to high and lofty.not arrogant or assuming. Assuming that we can do it on our own without God.

Prov. 14:26 In the reverant and worshipful fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children shall always have a place of refuge.
Prov. 3 : 26 For the Lord shall be your confidence firm and strong and shall keep your foot from being caught (in a trap or some hidden danger)

So trusting Him and having confidence in Him not self. That should be the place of security. In the shadow of His wings, in the cleft of the rock. These are places of safety.

Isaiah 30:15 Thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; in returning (to Me) and resting (in Me) you shall be saved; in quietness and in (trusting)confidence shall be your strength.

In quietness, I believe its not the "be quiet not talking" kind of quiet, but the quietness of your spirit. At peace. Not anxious. Not fretting.

There it is again, resting, trusting, quietness. Security is not something you build up in yourself. I mean you could do that, but what happens when the storms come, and they will come. The secure foundation is trusting Jesus and being confident in Him and only Him.
When the things that you have come to rely on , let you down, like church, your friends, your spouse, your parents, your children,your money,etc. Where do you go then? What will you turn to?
Tonight as I was walking thru some dark issues the Lord gently led me to the 23rd Psalm...
Your rod(to protect) and Your staff (to guide) they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.
Okay, picture a battle scene. Two angry , armed for battle enemies and one army is sitting down for a feast. I mean is that confidence. Is that peaceful..for God to give you so much peace that you could just take in a great meal right there in the presence of your enemies. That's true trust.
You annoint my head with oil...the details in my bible say that the oil was mixed with perfume and applied to runners and it was invigorating, refreshing, and they would be better fit for action.

I will fear NO EVIL, for You are with me.

Oh to trust God..He is truly all we need.
I must ask are you insecure-not confident of safety....trying too hard, trusting in yourself too much, or even worse arrogant, haughty, in need of nothing...proud...
Humble yourself in the mighty hand of God and He will lift you up...Put your mind of things eternal, not on the circumstances of this world....

Sunday, October 11, 2009

An Utter Failure...

What is it about us that makes us think we always have to have "IT" together? I mean ...Let's be honest , do you feel encouraged when you are around people who have it all together? They just downright make me ill. I mean sometimes I catch myself even looking closer just so I can find a stinking fault, somewhere. You would swear they are never in a bad mood. They never would yell at their precious little wonderful, perfect children. They don't argue with their spouses. In fact, they don't even engage in conflicts with anyone. They always wake up on the right side of the bed. And the best part for me ...the really BIG LIE, is that they actually try to convince you that being so Perfect comes naturally. ha, ha, ha... I mean they want you to believe that it is easy. I mean don't you just want to be like them. They are convinced you should be just like them because you are so flawed and they can see, by your obvious imperfections, that you just haven't arrived. ugh...You mean after being a christian for 24 years you struggle with insecurities. yeah. And after homeschooling for 17 years you struggle with insecurity. yes. And after being married to the same christian man after 28 years you still struggle with insecurity. yes. Let me assure you it is not easy trying to be perfect. It is not easy trying to convince others we are without flaws. It is downright exhausting. Isn't it? Please be honest with yourself, here. What are we trying to prove? God knows all those flaws and all those gifts. He is what I like to call, up close and personal. Many christians would never agree that they were prideful. They are just trying to attain God's standard. That's funny because his standard is simple. Yield. what? Isn't it Holyness? Nope. If we fail in areas of our lives, don't we just have to try harder? Nope. Simply , yield. Say Uncle. Wow, didn't you just hate it when someone got the best of you when you were a kid and they made you "humble" yourself and say uncle. But that's exactly what God does in our lives. He sets us up in things He knows we can't accomplish without His help. Things like homeschool. What kind of a crazy person wants to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with their children? Not to mention , taking on the humongous endeavor of the resposibility to educate them. Who would do that for a logical reason? Homeschooling is hard, no ,it is a lot of the times impossible. You see that's what our heavenly Father glories in...our failures. What? Stick with me. Think about what you feel like when you are around perfect people. Do you feel accomplished? How about encouraged? How about adequate? The bible speaks so clearly on this topic...comparing themselves with themselves they are unwise...and the fear of man is a snare. Some of us even carry the lie that we are trying to please God. Ha. God resists the proud. He gives grace to the humble. Quick pick a side. Oh , so you think you can somehow ride the fence? Only pride would make another person feel inferior. ouch. You see in order to keep up appearance, you pretend to be something you are not. Oh, I hear you saying, I don't pretend to be something I'm not. Pretending to be perfect is a lie. You see when I thought I was doing a great job juggling all the areas in my life, in my logic, I could see how others would see our well behaved children and they would ask us about our faith. Don't get me wrong that has happened and the bible says to be ready to give an answer for what you believe. But my point is that the illusion is , the pride, tells us that we have done something right. For some of us , the enemy tells us that we have done everything right. Ew. How affirming for your ego..Where is God in that? "You see I just pulled up my boot straps and read this wonderful child training book.... " "Children are just blank slates..they are what you make them..... " That's disgusting! God says I knew you before you were even 1 day old. I formed you in your mother's womb. They are not objects to further our reputation! We serve a personal God who made each and every one of us different. I could see how God could use my life when it looked beautiful. But how could He want me to fail and make mistakes? How could He be glorified in that? The people that I have come in contact with that have impacted me in mighty ways in my relationship with God have experienced pain, and suffering. You see pain and suffering changes who you are. And if you are wise in the knowledge of God, you will change what you are relying on. Self-reliance and Self-righteousness, in my opinion, are disgusting to God. I am convinced that they smell like sour garbage. It says to God- I don't need you and I got this all figured out. Remember what I said earlier. Yield. You see the question is really about what's important to you. Have you built yourself such a reputation that God is no longer controlling your steps. Are you willing to allow God to reveal to others that you are a failure? Are you wanting a relationship with Him enough to stop striving and start trusting Him? With everything? Your past mistakes...even. Can He really turn the ugly things that we have done into beauty? Are we willing to yield what we look like on the outside and exchange it for True Love lived out? A Love that makes no sense. A Love that would make itself of "no reputation" and hang on a cross and yield even unto death so all might have a true relationship with God. Love lived out, trust in God , lived out, that's what "failures" are looking for. For when I am weak then He is strong...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Here are just a few of the pictures we took on the road to colorado springs....

Here we are at the alamo, in texas .

This is on the roads near san antonio, texas.

The highway leading up to colorado springs, co.

Just beautiful..

This is the photo we took from our hotel room in los vegas, new mexico on monday.

My kids at the alamo , san antonio , texas on Sunday.

This pictures was taken on the highway leading up to colorado springs, co. on tuesday.
We have safely arrived after Joseph puking for two days in the car, a broken hose, almost running out of gas on a huge stretch of road with nothing, and lots of other fun stuff. What can I say , we made it and already have seen some really wonderful things God has created...we are in awe...the highlight of this trip, other than finding a lone gas station, hallelulia, was the "BAT FLIGHT" we witnessed at dusk in Carlsbad was that awesome, cannot be described in words. Homeschool moms check it out and do a search about this the bats exit the cave at dusk and return at dawn, no kidding millions flying just a few feet overhead....God's creation is so amazing to me. He has wonderful plans for us even when we don't recognize the things that happen to us as His plans...


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